Mrs. Fabian's Eastie English

Hopefully you were present in the computer lab when we went over how to use Google Docs.  If not, you can learn how to use the word processing program attached to your gmail account by watching this video of a screen capture I did sharing an account.

Once you have written your Play the Player assignment (be sure to give it your own unique title) in Google Docs, you will have to share it with your writing coach.  Share it by putting their email in the share window. Also to be sure to share it with me. My email address is mrsfabian2011@gmail.com. If you forget to share it with me, you will get a zero for your grade on how you used your coaching feedback.  Your coach will also get a zero for the feedback they gave you.

Before you share your file, make sure that at the top of your document, before your name and the title, you have listed your three writing goals for your coach so it is clear to both me and your coach what feedback you are looking for.

Remember what Mary Poppins said, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Be sure to give lots of positives for every negative when coaching your peer.  If you make the writer feel bad about their writing, they won’t want to put more effort into it. As a coach, you’re here to help your writer.

The peer feedback from your coach should have been given, and should have been used by the original writer, by Tuesday 10/25.  For each of you, you are both a coach and a writer.  So you need to have given feedback and used your feedback by Tuesday 10/25

Some follow up dates to keep your eye on: Final printed copy  (all drafts stapled together) Due Thursday 10/27

More blog posts will explain the following  steps: Final Copy  up on your group’s blog by Tuesday 11/1.  Strength based comments due from your blog members by  Thursday 11/3. Comments to three other Blogs due Monday 11/7.  Final Writer’s Process Cover Sheets for next assignment done in class on Tuesday 11/8

Ok, back to the peer edit:

If the writer is not in need of content feedback, regarding believability, sensory language, and meeting the assignment requirements, then perhaps they need content feedback regarding their writing style.

Consider these  SECRET WRITER’S TIPS:

What is a cliché?  A cliché is a tired expression.  It’s boring because it has been said before.  You want every single line of your writing to be fresh and 100% yours!  Unoriginal writing bores readers easily.

Here are some clichéd or just tired expressions:

It was a dark and stormy night.   It was a night I will always remember.  It was a night I will never forget.  It started as a day like any other day.  I was scared to death.  He scared the crap out of me.   It was the worst night of my life.  It was the scariest night of my life.  Like father like son.  Her eyes twinkled like the stars.  Her hair was jet black.  Her hair was black as a raven.  Her eyes glimmered like diamonds.  He was strong and handsome.

Her lips were so kissable.  He undressed me with his eyes.  The wind howled.  It rained buckets.  The coast was clear…and so on.  Basically, just read what you wrote.  Have you ever heard it before?  Read it before?  If so, get rid of it.

What is a weak word?

A weak word is a word that tells something easily that is often over used.  Replace your weak words with show details or superior vocabulary.  Slang is often weak as well.  If it is said often, get rid of it.  “Don’t force it!” (Whoops! I just used a weak expression.)

Some weak words:

Hot                  Good               Bad                  Angry               Scared             Pretty

Sunny               Liked               Stupid              Mad                 Nervous           Beautiful

Bright               Best                 Worst               Sad                  Upset               Sexy

Cold                 Funny               Whacked         Beefing             Afraid               Fine

Why can’t I use “very” or “really”?

When you use “very” or “really” what you are telling the reader is: “The word I am using directly after very isn’t strong enough, and does not describe what I mean, so I’ll add very to this crappy word and then you’ll understand what I meant.”  Instead of using a weak word, and adding “very”, grab a thesaurus or dictionary and find a word that means what you are actually saying.  Or even better, use show details to describe it!

Example:

I am very fat.   Better:  I am obese. (better vocabulary)

He was very stupid.  Better:  He was almost as intelligent as a rock. (hyperbole through simile)

She is very smart.  Better:  She is incredibly astute.  (better vocabulary)

I really dislike you.  Better:  I feel something between nausea and homicidal rage when I look at you. (show detail, with emphasis on one of the five senses)

 He was really annoying.  Better:  His voice ran up and down my spine grating on me until I was verging on rage.  I picked up a pen and said, “If you don’t want me putting this through your eye and writing ‘I’m an ass.’ on the inside of your skull, then you better be quiet.” (show details, with dialogue)

Words that sound alike or nearly alike but have different meanings often cause writers trouble. Here are a few of the most common pairs with correct definitions and examples:

ACCEPT-to receive. You have been accepted into college.

EXCEPT-to take or leave out.  I invited everyone except you.

AFFECT-to influence. Lack of sleep affects the quality of your work.

EFFECT-n., direct result, v., to accomplish. The effects of the fire were obvious in the landscape for years.

A LOT (two words)-many.

ALOT (one word)-Not the correct form- always ignorant.

BREATH-noun, air inhaled or exhaled. You could see his breath in the cold air

BREATHE-verb, to inhale or exhale. If you don’t breathe, then you are dead.

 CAPITAL-seat of government. Also financial resources.
The capital of Virginia is Richmond.The firm had enough capital to build the new plant.

CAPITOL-the actual building in which the legislative body meets. The governor announced his resignation in a speech given at the capitol today.

CITE-to quote or document
I cited ten quotes from the same author in my paper.

SIGHT-vision. The sight of the American flag arouses different emotions in different parts of the world.

SITE-position or place, including an internet address. The new office building was built on the site of a cemetary.

ITS-of or belonging to it. The baby will scream as soon as its mother walks out of the room.

IT’S-contraction for it is. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

LEAD-noun, a type of metal. Is that pipe made of lead?

LED-verb, past tense of the verb “to lead”. She led the campers on an over-night hike.

LOSE–verb, to misplace or not win. Mom glared at Mikey. “If you lose that new lunchbox, don’t even think of coming home!”Losers Lose.

LOOSE–noun, to not be tight; verb (rarely used)–to release. The burglar’s pants were so loose that he was sure to lose the race with the cop chasing him. While awaiting trial, he was never set loose from jail because no one would post his bail. Loose Tooth.

PASSED-verb, past tense of “to pass,” to have moved. The tornado passed through the city quickly, but it caused great damage. Thank God the cop passed me.  She passed away.

PAST-belonging to a former time or place. Who was the past president of Microsquish Computers?

PRINCIPAL-adjective, most important; noun, a person who has authority. The principal ingredient in chocolate chip cookies is chocolate chips. The principal of the school is Mr. Rubin. PRINCIPLE-a general or fundamental truth. The study was based on the principle of gravity.

THAN-use with comparisons. I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

THEN-at that time, or next. I studied for my exam for seven hours, and then I went to bed.

THEIR-possessive form of they. Their house is at the end of the block.

THERE-indicates location (hint: think of “here and there”)There goes my chance of winning the lottery! There is your gun!

THEY’RE-contraction for “they are” They’re a bunch of jackasses!

THROUGH-by means of; finished; into or out of. He plowed right through the other team’s defensive line.

THREW-past tense of thro. She threw away his love love letters.

THOROUGH-careful or complete. John thoroughly cleaned his room; there was not even a speck of dust when he finished.  You and me are through!

THOUGH-however; nevertheless. He’s really a sweetheart though he looks tough on the outside.

THRU-abbreviated slang for through; not appropriate in standard writing. We’re thru for the day!

TO-toward. I went to the University of Chicago.

TOO-also, whiney, or excessively. He drank too many screwdrivers and was unable to drive home. I want to come too! TWO-a number. Only two students did not turn in the assignment.

COULD OF, WOULD OF, SHOULD OF- always ignorant. This is a listening error. 

Correct Usage: COULD’VE , WOULD’VE, SHOULD’VE or even better:

COULD HAVE, WOULD HAVE, SHOULD HAVE,

I should have passed ninth grade.

OR CONSIDER THIS PUNCTUATION CHECKLIST:

1. Periods:

check for run on sentences

2. Semicolons:

Are used to separate two short and related sentences

Both sides of the semicolon have a complete sentence

Ex: I used to love him; I still think that we could have been married.

Commas

Introductory commas are used after introductory phrases.

In the meantime, he stuffed the guns into the bag.

 Parenthetical commas are used when a certain part of a sentence is extra information; either side of the paired commas must contain a complete sentence without the middle information.

Ex: I’ll meet you at the mall, in front of Sharper Image, at 8 PM.

Sequential commas separate a sequence or continuing list of more than two items; a comma is used before the last conjunction when using three or more items.

My dog is known for farting, sleeping, and stealing.

If a conjunction  (ex: and, or, but) is used in the middle of a sentence, and either side of the sentence is complete, then there is a comma before the conjunction.

Ex: I love to eat tacos, and I love to drink margaritas. (full sentence)

Vs: I love to eat tacos and fries.(not a full sentence)

Colons:

Introduce a list or continue information.

Ex: I ask that the students do the following: finish the sub packet and respect the sub.

Ex: I like one kind of pizza: pepperoni.

Dashes:

Tell the reader that the next piece of information is something you are emotional about.

Ex: My husband spends Valentine’s Day in the same place every year- the bar!

You are welcome to address issues of mechanics, punctuation, grammar etc, not just content, with your writing coach.  I’ll be checking your revision history to grade feedback on Tuesday 10/25